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Four suspects pulled off a bold daylight theft, swiping a kneeling Ronald McDonald from a Nesquehoning McDonald’s. Surveillance shows Ronald didn’t fight back. The thieves fled in a black car with a mystery plate. Police call it a “McFelony,” and yes, someone’s already selling an identical statue on eBay for $2,500. 

Kelli “Kinki Kelli” Tedford of New Hampshire allegedly turned a Marriott hotel room — Bible included — into her personal restroom, even hiding feces in the toilet tank. Weeks later, she reportedly urinated on groceries at a local co-op, causing $1,500 in damages. Police call it criminal mischief; the rest of us just call it gross. 

Three armed robbers tried to swipe wallets and phones outside a movie theater, but tech betrayed them. The victim’s phone automatically uploaded selfies of the crooks to iCloud . No one was hurt, but police now have a digital mugshot parade courtesy of the robbers’ poor planning. 

An Indiana inmate tried to escape by crawling into the jail ceiling—only to crash through it moments later. Blaze Ayers was stunned into compliance, suffered minor injuries, and now faces attempted escape and criminal mischief charges. Pro tip: ceilings are not an exit strategy. 

Florida deputies pulled over a car and found meth in Teryn Acri’s tote bag labeled, “Definitely Not a Bag Full of Drugs.” Acri had just been released on bond for drug charges days earlier. She’s back behind bars facing nearly identical charges.

Octavia Wells tried buying fentanyl but accidentally texted a cop, named PJ, instead of her dealer, also named PJ. She arranged a meet-up at a convenience store—where officers were waiting to arrest her. Charges: unlawful use of a communication device, paraphernalia, and driving on a suspended license.